Given that I was serving a foreign speaking mission, I wanted to learn as much as possible about the language to avoid saying the wrong thing. Part of this was learning all forms of profanity...not so I could use them though, but so I could know which words NOT to use! Can you imagine a missionary teaching a lesson and saying, "I know that the effin' devil wants to ensnare you..." Not good.
So two occasions come to mind where I fell prey to saying the wrong thing. One was using a word I didn't understand the meaning of (and it can be bad) and the other was saying something in English which also turned out to be bad.
The first involved a less-active member we were working with who used to be a boxer. He told me his boxing name was "Coño Hernandez." Now since his first name was Antonio, I assumed "coño" was another shortened version, like Pete for Peter. But no, I was wrong*. My companion (also American and aware of what it meant) and I were talking to the bishop and his wife about him and I referred to him by his boxing name. Their eyes got pretty big and explained my error. Bad part is that as a way to get our foot in the door I also asked many potential investogators nearby to this member if they knew the boxer "Coño Hernandez." Instead, the foot went in my mouth.
Another occasion I was with my third companion who was from Mexico, but spoke English very well and we alternated days on which we would speak to each other so we could both practice. So one day we're walking along the street and we see this little girl who looked very sickly and like a zombie. Being curious and wanting to know more Spanish I asked him in English, "How do you say zombie in Spanish?" Next thing I know this little girl looks at me before running off crying. I look at my companion and who tells me "zombie" in Spanish is "zombi." They are pronounced almost exactly the same so the little girl understood me calling her a zombie...oops.
So as a missionary you are told to always open you mouth and speak to people. Sometime though it seems it would be better to shut your mouth before your big foot ends up there.
*I won't repeat here what the word means, but feel free to use Google Translate if you're curious. I checked before posting this to make sure it would bring up the right meaning.
Showing posts with label missionaries. Show all posts
Showing posts with label missionaries. Show all posts
Monday, July 8, 2013
Monday, July 1, 2013
#MissionaryStoryMonday: Hunting Stories
One of my best companions was a guy from a small town in Idaho. Of all the people I served with, he was the one I worked the best with and we just flowed with the work perfectly. We were together for 3 months and they were really enjoyable...except for one things: his hunting stories.
They were cool and interesting at first, but there always seemed to be one right after the other. How many hunting stories can a person really have!? All day long, day after day, it was coyote that or deer this. I didn't think it was possible to go hunting that much.
So one day I finally ask him, "Elder, how many deer have you killed in your entire life?" He was daunted by the question and had to think for a moment how many it really was. You can imagine my surprise when he said "Gosh, probably 4 or 5." What!? I looked at him completely flabbergasted and asked in exasperation, "4 or 5! Where the heck do all these hunting stories come from then? How have you killed on 4 or 5 deer!?"
Turns out most of his stories were about coyotes on the farm and where he lived you could only kill 1 deer per season because there were so few. That week I emailed my step-dad who is a big hunter and said where we're from you can kill more than 1 deer per DAY on most occasions. That's a big difference between one part of the US and another.
Not impressed with his low deer count, I started tuning out the hunting stories because who really cares about coyotes? Still love the guy though!
They were cool and interesting at first, but there always seemed to be one right after the other. How many hunting stories can a person really have!? All day long, day after day, it was coyote that or deer this. I didn't think it was possible to go hunting that much.
So one day I finally ask him, "Elder, how many deer have you killed in your entire life?" He was daunted by the question and had to think for a moment how many it really was. You can imagine my surprise when he said "Gosh, probably 4 or 5." What!? I looked at him completely flabbergasted and asked in exasperation, "4 or 5! Where the heck do all these hunting stories come from then? How have you killed on 4 or 5 deer!?"
Turns out most of his stories were about coyotes on the farm and where he lived you could only kill 1 deer per season because there were so few. That week I emailed my step-dad who is a big hunter and said where we're from you can kill more than 1 deer per DAY on most occasions. That's a big difference between one part of the US and another.
Not impressed with his low deer count, I started tuning out the hunting stories because who really cares about coyotes? Still love the guy though!
Monday, June 24, 2013
#MissionaryStoryMonday: Doorstep battle with JW's
In my third area we were teaching this one sister and things were going pretty well...until we found out she was meeting with missionaries from the Jehovah Witnesses too. We found this out because one day when we showed up for our scheduled appointment with her, the JW's arrived 2 seconds after us for an unscheduled appointment with her. Talk about awkward.
The lady answered the door but didn't let us in. She didn't let them in either so it was all good. My companion at the time liked to bible bash (moron) so he started getting into with the JW's. I had a moment of weakness though and responded to one of their "attacks." They had said that Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost were all one person. They were very snarky and condescending about it and I couldn't help myself.
I got very smart with them and did not use my nice missionary voice. I read the account of Jesus's baptism from the New Testament and pointed out that we had: 1. Jesus in the water, 2. the voice of God coming from heaven, and 3. the Holy Ghost in the form of a dove. I held a finger with each person as they were mentioned and then looked at my hand in "shock" afterwards ("Oh my, would you look at that, three separate beings!"). I then also counted each of my fingers for them in a very...well, what's a good term for I treated them like they were a bunch of naive little children.
Looking back on that day I'm not super proud of my actions and know that is not how the Savior would have acted. The lady we were teaching did let us in that day and not the Jehovah Witnesses so that's one thing, but she didn't end up getting baptized at that time either. I hope my actions did not impede someone from being able to take advantage of the rich blessings of the gospel.
Moral of the story for current or future missionaries: the Lord wants us to speak boldly of his gospel and preach repentance with love, not bible bash and cause contention with bad attitudes.
The lady answered the door but didn't let us in. She didn't let them in either so it was all good. My companion at the time liked to bible bash (moron) so he started getting into with the JW's. I had a moment of weakness though and responded to one of their "attacks." They had said that Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost were all one person. They were very snarky and condescending about it and I couldn't help myself.
I got very smart with them and did not use my nice missionary voice. I read the account of Jesus's baptism from the New Testament and pointed out that we had: 1. Jesus in the water, 2. the voice of God coming from heaven, and 3. the Holy Ghost in the form of a dove. I held a finger with each person as they were mentioned and then looked at my hand in "shock" afterwards ("Oh my, would you look at that, three separate beings!"). I then also counted each of my fingers for them in a very...well, what's a good term for I treated them like they were a bunch of naive little children.
Looking back on that day I'm not super proud of my actions and know that is not how the Savior would have acted. The lady we were teaching did let us in that day and not the Jehovah Witnesses so that's one thing, but she didn't end up getting baptized at that time either. I hope my actions did not impede someone from being able to take advantage of the rich blessings of the gospel.
Moral of the story for current or future missionaries: the Lord wants us to speak boldly of his gospel and preach repentance with love, not bible bash and cause contention with bad attitudes.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Monday, June 10, 2013
Only 3 years old and my daughter is hitting on missionaries...not like you think though
So funny thing happened yesterday at church: my 3-year old daughter hit one of the missionaries in the junk. We were walking by in the hallway after church heading to the car. I was holding my son and my sweet daughter was walking slightly behind me with my wife. As I'm passing the Elder I hit him on his arm with the papers I have in my hand as a way of saying bye. We're cool like that.
Well, my daughter saw me hit the Elder so she wanted to do it too. She's a good deal smaller than me though since she's only 3 so she hit him the best she could at her level. Unfortunately for the missionary, she was right on level with his crotch. Silver lining is that is was just a tap and more awkward for the Elder rather than painful. He's good natured though and we all had a good laugh at it.
Well, my daughter saw me hit the Elder so she wanted to do it too. She's a good deal smaller than me though since she's only 3 so she hit him the best she could at her level. Unfortunately for the missionary, she was right on level with his crotch. Silver lining is that is was just a tap and more awkward for the Elder rather than painful. He's good natured though and we all had a good laugh at it.
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