#MissionaryStoryMonday: Watch What You Say

Given that I was serving a foreign speaking mission, I wanted to learn as much as possible about the language to avoid saying the wrong thing. Part of this was learning all forms of profanity...not so I could use them though, but so I could know which words NOT to use! Can you imagine a missionary teaching a lesson and saying, "I know that the effin' devil wants to ensnare you..." Not good.

So two occasions come to mind where I fell prey to saying the wrong thing. One was using a word I didn't understand the meaning of (and it can be bad) and the other was saying something in English which also turned out to be bad.

The first involved a less-active member we were working with who used to be a boxer. He told me his boxing name was "Coño Hernandez." Now since his first name was Antonio, I assumed "coño" was another shortened version, like Pete for Peter. But no, I was wrong*. My companion (also American and aware of what it meant) and I were talking to the bishop and his wife about him and I referred to him by his boxing name. Their eyes got pretty big and explained my error. Bad part is that as a way to get our foot in the door I also asked many potential investogators nearby to this member if they knew the boxer "Coño Hernandez." Instead, the foot went in my mouth.

Another occasion I was with my third companion who was from Mexico, but spoke English very well and we alternated days on which we would speak to each other so we could both practice. So one day we're walking along the street and we see this little girl who looked very sickly and like a zombie. Being curious and wanting to know more Spanish I asked him in English, "How do you say zombie in Spanish?" Next thing I know this little girl looks at me before running off crying. I look at my companion and who tells me "zombie" in Spanish is "zombi." They are pronounced almost exactly the same so the little girl understood me calling her a zombie...oops.

So as a missionary you are told to always open you mouth and speak to people. Sometime though it seems it would be better to shut your mouth before your big foot ends up there.

*I won't repeat here what the word means, but feel free to use Google Translate if you're curious. I checked before posting this to make sure it would bring up the right meaning.